Bittersweet Survivals

Malice is a defense mechanism.
Like the bitterness that is caused of
too much sugar.
When the brewing pot of love
Brims, bubbles
The foam that erupts
Can’t be kept in anymore
Not unless you turn down the heat
Up your withdrawal game
Your tanks are now full of self-pity.
And the coffee barely keeps your anxieties
Away.
The dark circles under your eyes,
The breeziness of your manner,
Your aloof, tired existence
All farce
That shows your puzzlement

Proximity is a game of poker.
All bluff, no luck.
But your peaceless solitude
Is denial
It is life giving you lemons, you tasting them, and then showing caution
Before anything else crosses your tongue. It is
Music that is no longer yours alone, the silences
Breathe doubt
Sound like cynicism and
Defeat.
When you’re down to your knees and can’t hear an
I’ll be there for you, it’s your
Romanticism deafening your
Ears
It is shaky hugs and fleeting smiles, it is
Mentally finding clouds and cotton and rainbows and candy anatomically within people
But biting your lemony tongue in fear of
Breaking
Your tryst with ugly,
Suave ego.

You need these moments
To get you out of your fomos
To exit your fears
To brush your doubts aside before they
Gulp
You
Down.

The next time you can feel your veins leak,
Let them.
Be that holier than thou realisation of yourself
Because what the world needs is not more mental noise,
It needs warmth
And when you’re busy trying not to explode
Not to assume the goodness of humanity
Or evil
The next time you’re trying to not snap into arguments
To swim through silence, drag through drama

Remember that most recipes derive meaning from that one pinch of salt.

That your Being is to sulk into
The obstacles of Life:
together and alone.

Being with people is like
Synchronised swimmi-no, synchronised drowning
And all of us are amateurs
Thrown into the Olympic pools of emotion.

And above all, I want you to believe
That one day, you’ll get it right.
The walls of ice will melt
Dark chocolate will find its way into your taste
And the world will one day be one large inseparable group hug
And you’ll be the first to get invited.

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